Kermit And Miss Piggy Break Up, Proving True Love Is A Cruel Lie

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The universe is a cold, lonely void that crushes the spirit of man with the cruel weight of knowing one will simply exist for the sake of existing, and we will never find true love, as was proven by the break up of Muppets Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy. I mean, why should we even bother anymore?

According to TV Line, the former couple announced the end of their four-decade relationship — four pointless decades that ultimately meant nothing in the large scheme of things — during a panel at the Television Critics Association summer press tour for their upcoming “Muppets” TV show, thus proving that even if Muppets have no hope for true love and a shared spiritual co-existence, what hope do the rest of us have?

“It’s a day-by-day, moment-by-moment process,” Kermit said. “Piggy and I have gone our separate ways romantically. It can be tough to work with your ex. There will be an official statement released in the press. I don’t want to betray anything.”

Piggy added “Dating moi is like flying close to the sun. It was inevitable that Kermit would drop down to the ground while I stayed in the heavens.”

So there you have it. Love isn’t real, life is cruel and the new “Muppets” show will debut on Sept. 22.